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Photographs from Mindy Fabian's youth elicit an emotional response from her father, Tony Fabian, at the family's Madison home. The photos were displayed at Mindy's memorial service last fall.
Andrea Fabian holds a drawing and a piece of prose expressing her daughter Mindy's feelings regarding her gender identity. "God, why do you neglect me. Why do you let me carry this agony? Why?" the paper reads.
Andrea Fabian took this photo of her daughter, Mindy, 16, after a day the two spent together doing Mindy's hair and makeup. Tony Fabian said it is one of his favorites because it captured a calm moment in his daughter's sometimes turbulent life.
Although her childhood was complicated by issues of gender identity, prose written on a bedroom closet wall by the late Mindy Fabian expresses a love for her parents and an affection for her childhood years. After transitioning from male to female, the 18-year-old Madison West High School student jumped to her death from an apartment building last October. A rose from her funeral now hangs near the writings.
On a laptop at their kitchen table in Madison, Tony and Andrea Fabian watch and listen to a video made about a year ago by their daughter, Mindy, who took her own life Oct. 13. In the video, Mindy holds up index cards with some of the names classmates called her. In the last frame, Mindy smiles broadly and presents a card reading, "I am beautiful."
Vivienne Andersen, a Realtor with Keller Williams Realty in Madison, said being transgender "gives you this great freedom to be exactly who you are."
Ja'Mel Ware, 25, of Madison, said he sunk into a deep depression before transitioning from female to male but is now so much happier.
Andrea Fabian holds a favorite photograph of her late daughter, Mindy, who had transitioned from male to female. Mindy was an artist, a poet, an activist and a fashionista. "She was sweet and funny and way girlier than I am," said Anne Urbanski, a PFLAG board member who knew Mindy.
At age 4, Nathan Fabian came to his mother with a perplexed look.
Mindy Fabian
Courtesy of Fabian family
Laura Gutknecht, 60, of Madison, began transitioning from male to female nearly 20 years ago. In the mid-1990s, she founded the Madison Area Transgender Association, a support group now housed at OutReach, the Madison LGBT community center.
Laura Gutknecht
Ja'Mel Ware, 25, transitioned from female to male.
JOHN HART -- State Journal"Society allows for so much more gender variation for everyone today, and I think that makes it easier to be transgender. For me, I still want to be associated with being female, but it's no longer as critical for me to 'pass' in every situation. We've come to understand there's a whole range of masculine and a whole range of feminine."
Laura Gutknecht, 60, Madison
"My earliest recollections are of lying in bed at night and praying to God I would wake up in a body that made sense to me. I went through phases where it faded for a while, but it always came back, and it came to a point where I couldn't spend that mental energy anymore. I think that's one reason why the rate of attempted suicide is so high in the transgender community – some people just can't live with that struggle anymore. For many of us, it is literally 'transition or die.'"
Vivienne Andersen, 38, Madison
"It's always been a battle inside, and sometimes it's still a battle inside, but I'm happier now that I've transitioned. One week last June, no one called me 'she' the entire week. It was the best week I'd had in a long time."
Ja'Mel Ware, 25, Madison
TransParent Group: Support group for parents of transgender youth. Contact Liz Lusk at mlusk@madison.k12.wi.us or 608-663-8449.
Teens Like Us: Support and social group for LGBTQ youth and their straight allies. Contact Abra Vigna at abra.vigna@youthsos.org or 608-251-6211.
Madison PFLAG: Local chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Contact pflagmadison@yahoo.com or 608-848-2333.
Gay Straight Alliance for Safe Schools (GSAFE): Madison-based advocacy organization. Contact info@gsafewi.org or 608-661-4141.
Pediatric and Adolescent Transgender Health (PATH) Clinic: Based at American Family Children's Hospital in Madison. See uwhealthkids.org or contact 608-263-6420.
Transgender youth
Today: The suicide of a transgender high school student and its effect on a community.
Monday: A profile of a Madison West High School junior who transitioned from female to male.
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Andrea Fabian took this photo of her daughter, Mindy, 16, after a day the two spent together doing Mindy's hair and makeup. Tony Fabian said it is one of his favorites because it captured a calm moment in his daughter's sometimes turbulent life.
Although her childhood was complicated by issues of gender identity, prose written on a bedroom closet wall by the late Mindy Fabian expresses a love for her parents and an affection for her childhood years. After transitioning from male to female, the 18-year-old Madison West High School student jumped to her death from an apartment building last October. A rose from her funeral now hangs near the writings.
On a laptop at their kitchen table in Madison, Tony and Andrea Fabian watch and listen to a video made about a year ago by their daughter, Mindy, who took her own life Oct. 13. In the video, Mindy holds up index cards with some of the names classmates called her. In the last frame, Mindy smiles broadly and presents a card reading, "I am beautiful."
Andrea Fabian holds a favorite photograph of her late daughter, Mindy, who had transitioned from male to female. Mindy was an artist, a poet, an activist and a fashionista. "She was sweet and funny and way girlier than I am," said Anne Urbanski, a PFLAG board member who knew Mindy.
Laura Gutknecht, 60, of Madison, began transitioning from male to female nearly 20 years ago. In the mid-1990s, she founded the Madison Area Transgender Association, a support group now housed at OutReach, the Madison LGBT community center.
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