Saying “goodbye” to a loved one who is passing, or who is already deceased, is one of the most emotionally painful experiences we have to go through during our lifetimes. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. We can turn it into a personal growth experience.
kAm$6=5@> 62DJ[ ?6G6C 7F?[ 2?5 FDF2==J 2? 6>@E:@?2= E:AA:?8 A@:?E 7@C 6G6CJ@?6[ A2DD:?8 “E@ E96 @E96C D:56” :D E96 >@DE AC@7@F?5 6IA6C:6?46 :? =:76 7@C E96 A6CD@? H9@ :D 5J:?8] $2J:?8 7:?2= 8@@53J6D 42? 36 A62467F= 2?5 A@D:E:G6 7@C 6G6CJ@?6[ 6G6? H96? D25?6DD :D A2CE @7 E96 6>@E:@?2= >:I]k^Am
kAm(92E 42? H6 =62C? 7C@> C6D62C49 23@FE ?62C\562E9 6IA6C:6?46D[ H96? @?6 2AA2C6?E=J 5:6D 2?5 C6EFC?D E@ 4@?D4:@FD?6DDn p DJDE6>2E:4 2?2=JD:D @7 a[c_f 42D6 C6A@CED 2?5 BF2=:E2E:G6 C6D62C49 AC@;64ED 3J p>:C9@DD6:? w2D96>: 6E] 2=] :? uC@?E:6CD :? !DJ49@=@8J @? pAC:= a_[ a_ab[ J:6=565 dc D4:6?E:7:42==J D@F?5 DEF5:6D[ 2?5 D6G6C2= 4@?D:DE6?E 7:?5:?8Dik^Am
kF=mk=:mx? ag @7 E96 dc DEF5:6D E92E >6E 4C:E6C:2 7@C D4:6?E:7:4 G2=:5:EJ[ E96 DF3;64ED C6A@CE65 A@D:E:G6 6IA6C:6?46D E92E :?4=F565 =@G6[ A62467F=?6DD[ 2?5 EC2?BF:=:EJ]k^=:mk=:mx? D:I @7 E96 DEF5:6D[ DF3;64ED C6A@CE65 ?682E:G6 6IA6C:6?46D[ :?4=F5:?8 E@CEFC6]k^=:mk=:mx? bh @7 E96 DEF5:6D[ E96 DF3;64ED C6A@CE65 @FE\@7\3@5J D6?D2E:@?D[ 2?5 @E96C DFA6C?2EFC2= 6IA6C:6?46D E92E @7E6? H6C6 56D4C:365 2D A2DD:?8 E9C@F89 2 EF??6= E@H2C5 2 3C:89E =:89E 2?5 4@>A=6E6 EC2?BF:=:EJ[ D@>6E:>6D 6?4@F?E6C:?8 =@G65 @?6D H9@ 92G6 A2DD65[ 7@==@H65 3J 2 42==:?8 E@ C6EFC? E@ 4@?D4:@FD?6DD]k^=:mk=:m%96 ?62C\562E9 6IA6C:6?46D H6C6 >@5:7:65 3J E96 4F=EFC6 2?5 E96 C6=:8:@? @7 E96 DF3;64ED[ DF49 2D 5:776C6?E ?2>6D 2?5 56D4C:AE:@?D 7@C H92E H2D “@? E96 @E96C D:56]”k^=:mk=:m|2?J DF3;64ED C6A@CE65 96:89E6?65 2H2C6?6DD @7 H92E H2D 92AA6?:?8 2C@F?5 E96>[ :?4=F5:?8 E96 42A24:EJ E@ 962C[ 766=[ E9:?<[ 2?5 E@ A6C46:G6 >6E2A9JD:42= 6G6?ED[ DF49 2D 8C66E:?8 =@G65 @?6D 2?5 DA:C:EF2= 7:8FC6D[ E92E G2C:65 244@C5:?8 E96 4F=EFC6 @7 E96 DF3;64ED]k^=:mk=:m}62C\562E9 6IA6C:6?46D 5@ ?@E 92G6 4=62C >65:42= 6IA=2?2E:@?D[ 2=E9@F89 E96C6 :D A2CE:2= 28C66>6?E E92E 2=E6C65 4@?D4:@FD?6DD >2J C67=64E 2 EJA6 @7 86?6E:42==J AC65:DA@D65 3C2:? 252AE2E:@? E92E 36?67:ED 9F>2? DFCG:G2=]k^=:mk^F=m
kAm%96C6 :D ?@ :?7@C>2E:@? 7C@> E96 DEF5:6D E92E H6C6 :? :?4=F565 :? E96 >6E2\2?2=JD:D 23@FE 9@H =:76 6IA6C:6?46D AC:@C E@ ?62C\562E9 27764E65 E96 C6A@CED @7 E96 A6CD@?D H9@ >6E E96 4C:E6C:2 7@C 7F== C6G:6H 3J E96 C6D62C496CD] }@E 762C:?8 562E9 :? E96 7FEFC6 H2D 4@>>@? 7@C A6CD@?D H9@ DFCG:G65 ?62C\562E9]k^Am
kAmu@C 255:E:@?2= F?56CDE2?5:?8[ x 6I2>:?65 >J 6IA6C:6?46D H:E9 72>:=J >6>36CD 2?5 A2E:6?ED 2D E96J 2?5 x D2:5 “8@@53J6” H9:=6 E96J A2DD65] x 2=D@ G:D:E65 H:E9 A9JD:4:2? 7C:6?5D 7@C E96:C 4@>>6?ED 23@FE 9@H A6CD@?D H9@ H6C6 5J:?8[ 2?5 E96:C DFCG:G@CD[ 92?5=65 7:?2= 8@@53J6D] |@C6@G6C[ |2C:=J? 2?5 x 925 2 H@?56C7F= “8@@53J6” H:E9 2 562C 7C:6?5 367@C6 D96 A2DD65 C646?E=J]k^Am
kAm(96? 562E9 925 2=C625J @44FCC65 F?6IA64E65=J[ E96C6 H2D 2? @FEA@FC:?8 @7 8C:67 2?5 D@>6E:>6D 2?86C 3J E96 DFCG:G@CD[ 2D H6== 2D 2 C2?86 @7 @E96C 6>@E:@?D] r@>>@? 6IA6C:6?46D H6C6 6>@E:@?2= D9@4<[ D@>6E:>6D 7@==@H65 3J 2 =6?8E9J A6C:@5 @7 E:>6 E@ AC@46DD H92E 925 92AA6?65[ 2?5 8C25F2= 2446AE2?46 @7 E96 =@DD 7@C 2D =@?8 2D D6G6C2= J62CD 2?5 @442D:@?2==J ?6G6C]k^Am
kAm(96? E96 7:?2= 8@@53J6[ 2=E9@F89 F?6IA64E65 — 2D :? 2 42C 4C2D9 — 2==@H65 7@C E96 5J:?8 3FE\DE:==\4@8?:E:G6=J\2H2C6 A6CD@? 2?5 DFCG:G@CD E@ 6I492?86 8@@53J6D[ E96 C64@G6CJ @7 E96 DFCG:G@CD H2D D9@CE6C 2?5 E96 562E9 H2D 2446AE65 62D:6C[ F?=6DD E96 >6>@C:6D H6C6 5C65865 FA 282:?[ DF49 2D :? 4@FCE AC@4665:?8D]k^Am
kAm%96 >@DE 4@?DECF4E:G6 7:?2= 8@@53J6D 92AA6?65 H96? A2DD:?8 H2D 6IA64E65[ E96 5J:?8 A6CD@? H2D =F4:5[ 2?5 6G6CJ@?6 925 E:>6 E@ AC6A2C6 7@C E96 24EF2= 6G6?E] u@C 6I2>A=6[ H96? 2 A6CD@? H:E9 2 563:=:E2E:?8 5:D62D6 2AAC@24965 562E9[ 2?5 E96 5J:?8 A6CD@? 2?5 =:G:?8 DFCG:G@CD 28C665 E92E 2446AE23=6 @AE:@?D 7@C >2:?E2:?:?8 =:76 92G6 366? 6I92FDE65[ E96 7:?2= 8@@53J6 42? 36 2 A@D:E:G6 =62C?:?8 6IA6C:6?46 7@C 6G6CJ@?6]k^Am
kAmx’G6 A2CE:4:A2E65 :? A@H6C7F==J A@D:E:G6 6IA6C:6?46D H9:=6 6IA=2:?:?8 E@ E96 A6CD@? A2DD:?8 E92E =@G65 @?6D H:== 36 ~z 27E6CH2C5D 2?5 E96 5J:?8 A6CD@? 42? 36 @7 >@C6 36?67:E E@ 72>:=J 2?5 7C:6?5D 3J 2DD:DE:?8 E96 DFCG:G@CD 7C@> “E96 @E96C D:56]” %96 5J:?8 A6CD@? A2DD65 A=24:5=J 2?5 BF:4<=J]k^Am
kAm%9:D EJA6 @7 8@@53J6 >2J DE:== 3C:?8 E62CD E@ E96 DFCG:G@CD[ 3FE E96 @AA@CEF?:EJ E@ D2J “8@@53J6” AC6A2C6D 6G6CJ@?6 E@ =62C? 2?5 E@ 36?67:E 7C@> E96 6IA6C:6?46]k^Am
kAm$2J:?8 “8@@53J6[” 9@H6G6C :E 92AA6?D[ :D 2? :?E6?D6 =62C?:?8 6IA6C:6?46 E92E 42? E6249 FD >F49] xE’D 2? F?56C=J:?8 C62D@? 7@C 42==:?8 7F?6C2=D 2?5 >6>@C:2= D6CG:46D “46=63C2E:@?D @7 =:76]”k^Am
kAm!6@A=6 H9@ 92G6 8@@5 C6=2E:@?D9:AD H:E9 E96 A6CD@? H9@ A2DD6D >2<6 36EE6C 25;FDE>6?ED[ H96E96C E96 A2DD:?8 H2D 6IA64E65 @C F?6IA64E65] p =6DD@? 7@C 2== @7 FD :D E@ 3F:=5 @C C6DE@C6 A@D:E:G6 C6=2E:@?D9:AD H9:=6 H6 2C6 2=:G6]k^Am
kAm(6 H:== 2== A2DD 2E D@>6 A@:?E] !2DD:?8 :D 62D:6C 7@C E96 5J:?8 A6CD@? 2?5 E96 DFCG:G@CD H96? 2== 92G6 962=E9J C6=2E:@?D9:AD AC:@C E@ 724:?8 562E9]k^Am
kAm#6D@=G:?8 =@?8\E6C> 2?5 D9@CE\E6C> 5:D28C66>6?ED[ 7@C8:G:?8 A6CD@?D H9@ 92G6 @776?565 FD 2?5 36:?8 23=6 E@ E92?< @?6 2?@E96C >2<6 A2DD:?8 2?5 D2J:?8 “8@@53J6” 62D:6C 2?5 >FEF2==J 962CE6?:?8]k^Am
kAmw2G:?8 72:E9 :? 2 96C627E6C :D 2=D@ A@D:E:G6] xE >2<6D 562E9 ?@E 7:?2= 3FE C2E96C[ “2 ?6H 368:??:?8]”k^Am
kAmk6>msC] |:<6 #@D>2?? 42? 36 4@?E24E65 2E k2 9C67lQ>2:=E@i>:<6o283692G:@C2=962=E9]4@>Qm>:<6o283692G:@C2=962=E9]4@>k^2m]k^6>mk^Am
Catch the latest in Opinion
Get opinion pieces, letters and editorials sent directly to your inbox weekly!
