Well, I have many character flaws but only one that I am going to admit to today. It is a flaw that rears its ugly head this time of the year and really causes me much trouble and consternation. I am, at times, completely and totally paralyzed by indecision. In other words, I can’t make my mind up if my life depended on it.

This time of the year my to-do list is exceedingly long. Often, things on it are very time sensitive and have limited window in which they must be done. Worse yet, things often need to be done in a certain order.

Things like: I would like to work cows, but I want to put them out on pasture as I work them. To get the cows out on pasture I need to build and fix the fence, but I don’t want to do that until I have burned the pasture. I would burn pasture, but the wind is too strong.

All of this thinking about what needs to be done paralyzes me and I run around for hours chasing my tail.

This doesn’t just happen with big projects; it can also happen with day-to-day things.

For example: I need to feed the cows hay, but the tractor is in one place, the hay I need to feed is at another, and the cows are at a third place. I could just use the tractor and haul the hay to the cows but that would take longer. The hay is not where I can get it easily with the truck and it would be easier to feed with the tractor. Oh, and I need to run water for the sheep and run an errand in town that is time sensitive. I will go back and forth on where I should start and how I should do even the simplest of chores.

I know, I just need to pick a place to start and not spend so much time worrying about how the job should get done. I have tried all kinds of tricks like writing lists and prioritizing. To be honest, I either lose the list or I spend too much time contemplating what should be on that list and what order it should be done in. The list method only makes things worse for me.

Big projects are the worst. I am building a fence and just getting started is my biggest hurdle. I find myself trying to be as organized as I can and still forgetting simple, small stuff like soft wire to make the end insulators. Then comes decisions on where to site the fence and where to put corner posts. There are so many decisions to be made, I am a wreck before I finally get started.

You know what the funny thing is? Once I get started everything usually falls into place.

Feeding the cows, I just got on the tractor and pushed through, hauling hay with the tractor. Do you know what? I got done in time to get everything watered and get to town on time. I got started on the fencing project and as I started putting corner posts in, it became clear where the corner posts needed to go.

For me, the biggest obstacle is the start. Once I get rolling, I am good. It is what to do, where to start and how to start that often sidetracks me.

I have decided that tackling my overwhelming to-do list is kind of like eating an elephant. You have to pick a place to start and not worry about how big the task is. I have been told you can’t finish what you don’t start. However, in my world I spend far too much time worrying about whether I eat the elephant’s toenail, tail or ear first.

I realize that I have a problem, but I am also not sure what to do about it. Do I do some research on the internet, maybe buy a book or do I find someone to talk to about my indecision problem? Even that leaves me with no place to start.

I would get help, but even that paralyzes me and leaves me not knowing what to do.

I need to do something, so I will go work on the fencing project. My corner posts are set, and the project is well underway. What decision could I possibly agonize over?

Wait, should I drive the pickup or the side-by-side? The side-by-side would be a lot easier to use but all the fencing supplies are in the pickup, and it would take way too long to move them over. The sprayer is in the side-by-side, and I would have to drain it. But we might need it if we decide to burn tonight. Plus, the pickup needs gas. Someone, please, help me decide.